Today I realized
how lucky I am to have what I don’t appreciate every day. I woke up in my
memory foam bed breathing cool air blowing from the vent. The shades that hide
the beaming sun rays, the roof and wall that keeps critters out, and the shut
door that provides privacy, sheltered me from the outside world. My room is
furnished with a cluttered vanity, a dresser and a nightstand. I have
artificial lighting above and next to my bed from a lamp. All the space in all
my drawers and my closet are occupied by clothing. It is not a luxurious or
spacey bedroom, it accommodates me well, I mean I am just 5’ 2’’ and 100 lbs.
how much more space could I need? Honestly, I do wish for more space to fit in
all the clothes that are not stowed away and linger on the doorknob of my
closet or the floor, but really do I need more space?
The reality of having more space
would imply that there would be more empty spaces that I would feel the need to
fill with more clothes, accessories and shoes, oh shoes! I forgot, I own the
amount of shoes that each time you see a pair it surprises you because you
completely forgot you owned that pair. The point I am getting to is that I don’t
need more, every time I receive more I want more. Is it just me? No. Everyone
that gets something good enough ends up wanting better and bigger things. Your 50
inch plasma TV is not enough now, you want the 70 inch 3D TV with the mega
speakers and the Blue-Ray player.
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| Child at my grandfather's hacienda. El Salvador June 2012. |
You close yourself behind that door in your room and go on
living life in your own world, and that is totally fine, in this society
independence and selfishness is endorsed. Getting ahead and stepping on the
critters outside your roof and walls is what you were raised for. Always obtaining
more and more even if you forget what you bought is how you reward yourself.
Avoiding the brilliance of the natural light shining through the windows is
what you do to sleep in and not wake up early on a vacation time such as now
that it is summer. Even now you go and get more artificial light then you need
by going tanning in a salon were you enclose yourself in an oven, baking
yourself until you’re the shade of a newly paved road. All these wants and
desires that keep you comfortable are because you only look out for yourself,
because nothing matters more than your own happiness. But are you really happy
with all that material stuff that you replace each time you get bored with it
or it goes out of style? Are you happy?
I live a privileged life, not as comfortable as many of my
friends do or as you might live, but getting a slap from reality on the face
was what woke me up today. All that I have I shouldn’t have. There are too many
children without a single pair of shoes. They don’t have the roof and walls to
keep them safe from the raging weather and malevolent bugs. Where is their air
conditioning when it is 105 degrees outside? They can’t sleep in because they
have to go to work and help provide for their families, if their lucky enough
to have a family. Their entertainment doesn’t come from a box that depicts
moving images. It comes from their laughter of a memory of that day or previous
experiences that have been good and happy.
My goal in life is to help others that don’t have what I don’t
appreciate every day. I know everything I will do in life will probably not
leave a mark in the world, but I for sure do not want to leave another scar on
this Earth. I can’t wait to do what you will probably never do. I don’t resent
you, I pray for you, that someday you will realize there are others outside
your bedroom door and you will do what you can to make them comfortable like
you are in that space.
Much love and peace,
Lauri
